No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize