either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize