Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize