So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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