well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize