Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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