Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
