I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize