Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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