Welp...herpes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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