morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
