I've blown a few things in my day
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
