Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
