just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
