U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
