the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
