What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
