Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize