Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
