she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
