So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
