I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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