This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
