It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
