i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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