Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
