no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
