I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
