Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Garrett_USMC hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

Fav 48 1405 4618
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.

Fav 39 1074 3868
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs

Fav 14 4073 964
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.

(513): View more from Ohio

I stole a bike. Here's a pic

Fav 10 3774 1302
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

Fav 5 1507 715
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you

(303): View more from Colorado

Seriously. Castrate.

Fav 4 838 1123
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors

Fav 0 640 507
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.

Fav 1 101 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?

Fav 0 33 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT