So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
