awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
