I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize