clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
