Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
