Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
