he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize