I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
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Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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