And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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