dude i'm inner monologue high
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
