have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just googled if crying burns calories
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize