I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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