it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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