Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
