Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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