I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
