they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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