would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
