I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
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Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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