so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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