Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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