just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
