Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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