Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
