I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
